Fake Tan Routine

I would love to be tanned every day of the year and know that a lot of people have their fake tan routine down to a T. I find it such an effort that never works out right and was hoping one of these people who know the secret could help me out!

First of all, how do you stop it ruining your sheets?

Second, mine goes patchy after a couple of days and I gym often and the sweat makes the tan rub off onto my clothes.

All in all, is there a secret to making it more effortless so I can be permanently tanned (living in a cold country) as opposed to only finding the energy to do it once in a blue moon.